The advice below came from real, LGBTQ+ teens in the local Westchester community. The people interviewed range from ages 13 to 18 and represent a wide array of identities. The advice is organized by topic, with each piece of advice followed by the teen’s age and pronouns.
They are identified below by their ages and pronouns, but some of the identities featured also include: bisexual, lesbian, nonbinary, trans, queer, gay, and more!
Coming Out/Discovering Yourself:
- Take your time to figure things out.
- You don’t owe it to anyone to have a solid label or explanation at any point in In fact, you deserve to take the time to get to truly know yourself.
- Be aware that it WILL take time and it won’t always be comfortable, but the knowledge that you get along the way is rewarding.
– 16 Year Old (She/Her)
- There is no pressure to come out.
- You don’t owe it to anybody to come out.
- You can come out to anyone on your own.
- You don’t have to tell your parents, or any family or friends, and you have the right to wait until you find your group and who you are comfortable with to be who you are and come out.
-17 Year Old (She/Her)
- You do not need a label – labels are there to help, but don’t feel like you need to fit into a label. Labels can help other people understand, but everyone defines different labels differently. Non-binary can mean completely two different things to two different people.
- You don’t have to prove anything to anyone – don’t put pressure on yourself to like one thing or another or to fit into a label that is not you.
-18 Year Old (She/Her)
- Trust your gut.
-18 Year Old (She/They)
- Don’t stop doing what you’re doing and being who you are because you think people won’t accept you—you will find other people who will accept you.
-17 Year Old (She/Her)
- Don’t try and force yourself into stereotypes—your identity is still valid (applies to labels too!).
-16 Year Old (She/Her)
- You don’t have to have it all figured out.
- You have your entire life to learn about yourself.
-13 Year Old (He/They)
Being a Good Ally:
- Ask good questions in the most respectful way.
-16 Year Old (She/Her)
- As a queer person, you have a role in the community, too.
- It is important to be an ally to yourself as well as to other identities, and you can educate yourself on other identities to better understand and support them.
-17 Year Old (She/Her)
- Be open minded.
-16 Year Old (She/Her)
- Showing pride is not putting down other people.
- By being ourselves, we are not attacking or threatening who other people are, we are just raising ourselves and other LGBTQ people up – our goal is not to put other people down.
-17 Year Old (She/Her)
Learning More:
- Surround yourself with as much as you can.
-18 Year Old (He/Him)
- Start learning as early as you can.
- Find someone to talk to – talking about how you feel can help you better digest those feelings.
-18 Year Old (She/They)
- Be involved! Be involved with people and your community. Join a club, talk to people – take advantage of as much as you have at your disposal because speaking to people and learning from them will always teach you the most.
–15 Year Old (Any Pronouns)
- It can get very negative very quickly with the internet, so make sure that the resources you are using are valid and positive/neutral.
-13 Year Old (He/They)
Accepting Yourself:
- No matter what you do, people will try to put you down, so “why waste your time trying to force someone to love you when they only bring you down and don’t accept you for who you are?”
- Just because one person says what you’re doing is wrong, don’t give up. There will be other people who accept you.
- You are not alone in your experiences.
-18 Year Old (He/Him)
- As long as you’re not hurting other people, you can do what you want, be who you are and express yourself in your own way.
-17 Year Old (She/Her)
- There are other people who are in the same situation, and talking to them/surrounding yourself with them will help you learn more about yourself.
- Express yourself in the way that feels like you.
- Find ways to be comfortable with yourself.
- Find the bravery to be who you are – you’ll be much happier this way.
- It won’t be easy, but it will get better.
-18 Year Old (She/They)
- It’s not just Straight or Gay; it is a spectrum.
